What if I told you there’s a remote job you can do from your phone, in the gaps of your day, that doesn’t need a degree, a big following, or a single TikTok dance — and that pays properly? It’s one of the most in-demand online skills right now, and most moms have never even heard of it.
It’s called being a DM setter — and learning how to become a DM setter might be the most realistic, flexible income move you make this year. It happens to be exactly what I do, and what I’ve helped other women learn to do, so let me pull back the curtain on it.
So… what is a DM setter?
In plain English: a DM setter manages the Instagram (or Facebook) direct messages for a coach or online business. When people comment, reply to a story, or send a message, you’re the friendly human who chats with them, answers questions, works out whether they’re a good fit, and books the interested ones onto a call with the business owner.
Here’s the important bit: you are not selling. You’re not closing deals or being pushy. You’re opening conversations and being genuinely helpful. You’re the warm welcome at the door, not the hard sell at the till. If you’re a mom, you’ve been doing the human version of this for years — you’re just going to get paid for it now.
Why it’s such a good fit for moms
I’m not exaggerating when I say this might be the most mom-friendly online job out there. Here’s why:
- It’s remote and flexible. You can do it from your couch, in the school pickup queue, or after bedtime. Most of the work happens on your phone.
- There’s almost no startup cost. No stock, no equipment, no website. Just you and a phone.
- You don’t need your own audience. You’re working in someone else’s DMs, so there’s no pressure to build a following first.
- It’s conversational, not technical. No coding, no complicated software. If you can hold a kind, clear conversation, you can learn this.
- It pays well — and reliably. More on that in a second.
For an introvert especially, this is gold: it’s one-on-one, written, behind-the-scenes work. No going live, no being “on.”
What you actually do day to day
A typical setter session looks like this. You log in, see who’s messaged or interacted, and you reply — warmly, like a real person, not a robot. You ask a couple of gentle questions to understand what they’re after. If they seem like a good fit for what the coach offers, you guide them toward booking a free call. Then you keep your little pipeline tidy so no one slips through the cracks, and you send the business owner a quick end-of-day update.
That’s it. Caring, organised conversations. Things moms are quietly excellent at.
The skills you already have
You might be thinking, “but I have no experience.” Look again at what this job needs: empathy, good communication, the ability to read between the lines, patience, and basic organisation. Tell me that’s not a description of running a household and managing a family’s emotional weather. You’re more qualified than you think — you just need the framework for doing it professionally.
What can you actually earn?
This varies by who you work for and how you’re paid, but to give you a realistic picture for the South African and international market: setters are typically paid an hourly rate, a monthly retainer, a commission per booked call, or some mix. As you build experience and results, your rate climbs — good setters who reliably book calls become very valuable, because they’re directly connected to the business making money. It’s the kind of skill where your income grows with your track record.
How to get your first client
This is where most people freeze, so let’s keep it simple:
- Pick a niche you like. Coaches in fitness, business, wellness, and relationships all use setters. Choose a world you’d enjoy chatting in.
- Find the businesses. Follow coaches in that niche on Instagram. The ones posting a lot, running offers, and getting engagement are exactly the ones drowning in DMs and needing help.
- Reach out simply. No essay. A short, warm message offering to take DM management off their plate goes a long way. You’re solving a problem they already have.
- Learn the craft first. The setters who get hired and kept are the ones who know how to actually move a conversation forward without being awkward or salesy. That skill is learnable — and it’s the difference between “I tried setting” and “I built an income from setting.”
You can absolutely learn this
I know it feels like a leap. But this isn’t a talent you’re born with — it’s a skill with a system behind it, and I’ve watched ordinary moms pick it up and start earning. If you can be warm, organised, and willing to learn, you’ve got what it takes.
If you want to explore this and other flexible income ideas, grab my free guide, 50 Simple Side Hustle Ideas for Moms — DM setting is in there, alongside plenty of other options that fit real life. And keep an eye out, because a proper step-by-step on becoming a setter is exactly the kind of thing I’m building for you next.
You don’t need to be techy, young, or already confident. You just need one skill that pays — and this might be yours.
P.S. — Curious how I ended up here? Read my story. Setting changed things for me, and I’d love to show you how.